As we moms look forward to this Sunday when our children give us those priceless hand-written cards and hugs, I am particularly even more grateful this year for this special day dedicated to us. A year ago, almost to the day, I separated from my now ex-husband, and was in complete despair. Mother’s Day was of course special, but it was still rough, knowing what I was about to go through and put my daughter through.
A year later, I am stronger, happier and very grateful for all those who helped me and my daughter get through the tough times. (You all know who you are! ) Two of those people, who deserve a lot of credit, not only for last year, but for my entire life, are my parents. They let daughter and me live with them for 8 months while we went through the toughest times and never asked for anything in return. So, this blog is dedicated to my mom and dad, who are not only the best parents a girl could ever ask for, but my best friends as well.
As moms, we can’t help but garner what our mothers taught us when we are raising our own children. It’s what we are used to, so it is easy to take the good things our own moms did for us into account when raising our own kids. I have learned so much about being a mom and about life from my own mom and I want to share what I have gleaned:
- You can be your child’s best friend. This is something other moms have said cannot happen because the child is confused when you are required to discipline them. My mom taught me that you can actually be both, if done carefully. My brother, sister and I knew we had to mind her because, if we didn’t, Team Mom and Dad would be on us very quickly. However, there was no one I would rather hang out with than her. She has always been able to keep the separation and I hope I can do the same with my daughter.
- Unconditional love. There is nothing more comforting to me than knowing I have always had her on my side, even when I felt I didn’t deserve it. That never mattered to her. Even when my brother and I made her cry when we were kids because we hid a plastic spider in her sock drawer. She is deathly afraid of spiders and we knew it and did it anyway. As an adult, when I first moved to Tulsa, and didn’t know anyone there, anytime I felt alone, a call to mom would instantly make me feel better. There has never been a day that I’ve felt un-loved, and I consider myself very lucky for that.
- How to be an independent woman. My mom has always preached the importance of depending only on yourself out in the real world. Even as a little girl, my mom was constantly making sure I knew that I needed to do well in school, go to college and get a good job so I can always take care of myself.
- Always be yourself. This one is particularly important, especially for young girls and women. I grew up knowing I am unique, and even if people didn’t like me for who I am, it didn’t matter because as long as I am being myself, that is all that matters. As an adult, I consider this an important thing to be taught early in life. It is so easy for people to try and conform, but if you grow up knowing and believing in yourself, you will more than likely have the integrity it takes to not conform.
- Always be happy. My mom never cared if I was the best softball player (which I certainly wasn’t!) or the best piano player. She wanted me to work hard at whichever sport or activity I took on, but if at the end of the season or school year, if I was miserable doing something, it was okay to stop. She wanted me to have a happy childhood and never once pushed me into extracurricular activities that I didn’t want to do. That is just one example, but happiness has always been a top priority with her and has served me well over the years. I was taught to work hard, but also be happy. This mindset helped me throughout my life, from selecting a career to unraveling an unhappy marriage.
What has your mother taught you? Comment below and let me know!
I hope all you moms out there have a wonderful and blessed Mother’s Day!