The Bush family’s journey into foster care with TFI Family Connections exemplifies the power of love and support for vulnerable children. Opening their home to more than 14 foster children, including teenagers and sibling groups, the family has witnessed profound transformations. For those interested in how to become a foster parent in Oklahoma, their experiences serve as an inspiring guide. Foster parenting in Oklahoma is not only a commitment; it’s an opportunity to make a lasting impact in the lives of children and families.
Introduction to a calling
As a young adult, Paula Bush worked an internship that proved to be a life-changing experience. For the first time, she was introduced to the foster care system and the many children in need of its services. This experience ignited her passion and determination to learn how to become a foster parent in Oklahoma one day.
“As part of my internship, I worked in a youth services family shelter, and two little girls came in that won my heart,” says Bush. “Ever since, I always said that this is something I wanted to do. I wanted to help kids who have no help any other way.”
Heartfelt commitment
While she had this desire for years, Bush didn’t act on it until 2019. She was researching how to start the process and found TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma, an affiliate of The Family Initiative (TFI), Inc., a private nonprofit organization providing foster care services and care for children and families in Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma and Texas.
TFI strives to place children within their home community. In Oklahoma, with less than 2,000 foster homes in the state, more than 7,000 children have been placed into out-of-home placements. This great disparity means children are regularly being placed outside of their home community or in shelters . This also means in a single day, a child could lose their parents, family, school friends, teachers, coaches and a sense of connection to their community.
Moved by this great need, Bush made the call to TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma to learn more about how to become a foster parent in Oklahoma. She was immediately impressed with how responsive they were and how eager they were to help.
“They always followed up with me, answered any questions I had and worked around my schedule,” said Bush. “At the time, my husband and I were busy with our two sons’ baseball seasons and they were always understanding when I would need to reschedule an appointment.”
A new chapter begins
Little did she know that her initial call would lead to her family’s first foster placement in 2020 — at the height of the pandemic — and result in her family welcoming more than 14 foster children into their home, some temporarily and some long-term.
“I wanted to foster in a way where we could be most helpful — and that was by opening our home to teenagers,” said Bush, who also didn’t shy away from fostering sibling groups. In fact, she and her husband recently adopted two brothers and are in the process of adopting two sisters.
According to TFI, while 76 percent of children in foster care are under the age of 10, it’s most difficult to find placements for teenagers. The Oklahoma Department of Human Services reports that more than 400 families are needed to foster large sibling groups. Children experience an even greater loss when they cannot be placed with their brothers or sisters.
Throughout her family’s journey, Bush says TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma has supported them every step of the way.
“Any time we have needed extra help or mental and emotional support, they’ve been there to walk us through,” said Bush.
Training for success
TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma offers foster parents a wealth of resources, including a dedicated TFI representative, free and comprehensive on-going training, 24-hour on-call support, reimbursement payments, support meetings, transportation support when needed, a TFI Foster Family Portal app and respite programs. Also, through additional partnerships, foster families have assistance in getting clothes, shoes, toiletries, coats and holiday presents for the children in their care.
“Foster parents have heart — heart for helping others and for standing in the gap when they’re needed most,” said vice president of foster care for TFI Shannon Horton. “They are so essential to the work we do, and TFI is always looking for compassionate, dedicated individuals to provide temporary, loving care to children in need.”
For Bush, the training classes have been an essential part of their fostering experience. Many of the children they’ve fostered have needed Enhanced Foster Care (EFC) services. Through no fault of their own, some children have acute behavioral, medical, developmental and mental health needs. TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma works to identify the needs of each child and takes a trauma-informed approach to facilitate their healing.
“The training classes have been a huge help,” said Bush. “When we received our first foster placement that needed additional services, I knew I didn’t want to give up on him just because I didn’t know how to deal with his needs. We don’t always know what’s happened to a child and they have certain behaviors because of their experiences — and at times it can feel overwhelming. But TFI provides the services the child needs and regularly checks in to make sure you’re OK. They’re there to help with any issues you might be having.”
Transformative outcomes
For anyone who has thought about foster parenting in Oklahoma but is hesitant, Bush encourages them to reach out to TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma and learn more.
“There’s so much we can do for these kids who need families and it’s so worth it,” said Bush. “Sometimes these kids are so broken and angry because of what life has dealt them that they’ve given up on life. All you can do is love them and show them that there’s a better way and they are worth it.”
Bush says when her 17-year-old adopted son first came to them, it was difficult. He had been shuffled back and forth between shelters and foster homes, and he was “beyond broken and angry.” But she and her husband kept pushing forward.
“One day he finally realized that we weren’t giving up on him and now he’s a kid that smiles at everybody,” said Bush. “He finally feels like he has a future and has what he needs to succeed. He graduates this year and plans to go the University of Oklahoma.”
These types of positive outcomes are at the heart of foster care and the work of TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma.
“TFI Family Connections of Oklahoma has been a huge advocate for us,” said Bush. “While you have to make some changes to your life to be a foster parent, in the end it’s rewarding and always worth it.”
