As an adult, we have always heard that adage of “time heals all wounds.” When you are told that in the middle of a crisis, it may or may not be a welcome statement to hear. A year-and-a-half ago, when I was going through a divorce, I was told that by many caring people in my life, but it was hard to believe at the time. There were so many things swirling in my head during that time, mostly about my daughter and how this would affect her and our broken family in the future. The unknown of everything was almost too much to handle, but somehow we all got through it, scars and all. And, I am happy to say now, that time actually does heal all wounds.
My sister and I had a conversation during that time period, which was actually my first weekend without my daughter. We talked about my fears of my ex moving on and finding Addie a step-mother, which at the time, was a thought that made me shudder. She has been through all this before and was able to make me feel better and said that after some time, these things that seem so huge now, won’t matter so much later. She assured me that I am, and will always be, Addison’s mother and no she and I have a special bond that is unbreakable. That truly helped me that day, and I have thought about it often as time has passed, dust has settled and clarity has occurred.
When you go through a divorce and you know you are permanently changing your child(s) family, there are so many emotions you face throughout the entire process. And, let’s face it, mistakes are always made. If I could go back, there are so many things I would do differently with my daughter, to make things easier for her. And myself.
I have realized now that the tumultuous marriage I was in has caused a lot of repressed feelings and I am now dealing with that through a therapist. I have never been to a therapist before, but now that I am, I highly recommend it to anyone dealing with life’s struggles. I have realized several things about myself and it is a huge relief to be able to get those troubling things out in the open and deal with them, instead of carrying that baggage around. Soon, Addie will also go to a therapist because she is easily insecure and I want her to be able to deal with that now, rather than later.
I really hope that anyone out there who is going through what I did a year ago, can garner help and optimism from this blog. You will get through it and that old saying, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” is true as well, and you will be amazed how strong you actually can be.