I was nervous at the doctor’s office for my four-week check. Excited, but nervous. I’ve made such progress! Really revised the way I think about health and the way I react to my environment. Officially, I am 11 pounds down from my beginning weight (though on my home scale, I weighed a bit heavier at the start and two pounds lower the morning before, putting me at 16 pounds down, but still; 11 is good progress); this is a good start.
We discussed the medication, the lifestyle changes that I’ve made. What to expect from here. I asked her when I can stop taking my medication, and she said when I reach my goal weight, which for her is about 60lbs lower then where I am now.
My personal goal is a bit closer, at about 32lbs away. Still a lofty goal, but one that I think is doable and healthy. But, in my doctor’s eyes, I have to get out of that insulin danger zone; I have to get into that “healthy” range that the doctors have defined. That’s a little scary to hear.
I haven’t been that “healthy” weight since I was a teenager, and my diet at the time consisted of Diet Coke and cigarettes. Not exactly a healthy diet. The thought of going back to that number is a little overwhelming. We agreed to revisit the goal after we reach the goal that I’ve defined; we’ll see where we stand then, how my body is doing.
Can I get my insulin under control? Can I get to the point where I can go off the medication and be healthy without it? Can I continue to avoid the carbs as easily as I do now?
I sure hope so.
Because I don’t want to go back.
I have come to the point where I’m not avoiding the carbs as much or as stringently as I was at the beginning. Because I need to be able to have a cookie or a chip or French fries or a piece of bread and not worry that it’s going to send me into a tailspin.
So the cookie? Yuck; tasted like chemicals. Next time I’m going to stick with the bakery-fresh or home-made variety and skip the packaged kind.
The handful (instead of the bowlful) of chips with salsa before dinner? No worries. I didn’t overdo it and didn’t feel the need to.
French fries? Even just a small handful of fries left me feeling bloated and sluggish; not something that I enjoy, so not a food that I’ll feel compelled to want to eat. Which kind of breaks my heart a little bit, because, I mean, c’mon! French fries! Oh well. I still have tater tots (a few tots were still tasty, no icky side effects).
The bread? Good in moderation.
Candy? Flavored yogurt and oatmeal? Most of it is just too sweet for me now. I don’t enjoy it like I once did.
That’s progress. I’m measuring that and trying to keep moving forward, one step at a time.