Mom Humor: Snow Days - MetroFamily Magazine
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Mom Humor: Snow Days

by Heather Davis

Reading Time: 3 minutes 

It wasn’t that long ago that I remembered being snowed in with a couple wild children who went stir crazy in no time flat. We’d watched Frozen until my eyes were frozen to the screen—then I sang to my kids as I shooed them outside. 

Since it was eleventy-hundred degrees below freezing outside, they didn’t stay out very long and soon enough, they were back in from the tundra that was our backyard. I washed their snowy clothes and again, we found ourselves eating grilled cheese crackers (I didn’t get to the store in time to get bread, so we used saltines) and watching, you guessed it, Frozen. Again. 

But this time we watched with hot chocolate (made with canned milk … too late to the store) and popcorn. This popcorn would end up all over the house because of the dogs. And the cats. And the kids who thought they could throw the puffy goodness into the air and catch it with their mouths. They can’t. 

Along with their snowy clothes, I washed the towels I used to mop up the floor when the snowy kids and animals made their way back inside. I also washed their pajamas because they couldn’t put back on the same pajamas they had just taken off 20 minutes ago when they decided to go outside.

Time has a funny way of dragging its clumsy feet when one is stuck inside the house with two children, two dogs, two cats and a DVD of Frozen. When I looked at the clock, I discovered that all of this took place before noon. Before noon, y’all! 

At lunch, we ate everything in the house (except sandwiches, see the no bread comment previously mentioned). We colored all the blank pages in the house and then we colored them again. We made cookies. We baked half of them and ate the other half straight from the mixing bowl. And yes, I did wash the mixing bowl before we made slime in it and after we made snow ice cream.

We handmade our Valentines and since we were in a creative mood, we made Easter cards, Mother’s Day cards, Christmas cards and even Arbor Day cards. Then we addressed them all, and we might have even put them out for mailman to take as he trudged through the snow in his super colossal snow boots. 

The girls re-read all their favorite books and even wrote a few stories themselves. Then they acted them out on the stage they created in front of the fireplace while wearing clothes they found in the back of my closet. (Note to self: Clean out closet.)

By the end of the day, the girls had changed clothes twice, watched Frozen a few more times and eaten all the food in the house aside from the cat food and the dog kibble; honestly, though, I’m not sure they didn’t eat some of that as well. We played all of the board games—even Monopoly, and that takes forever! We played with all the toys, even the broken ones and we listened to all the music and danced all the dances. 

The girls played in the bathtub; I cleaned the bathroom. The girls built a fort in the living room; I refolded the sheets. The girls went back out into the snow forty-two dozen times, each time staying no more than three minutes. I mopped and dried clothes and dried clothes and mopped. The dogs even shook their heads at the frivolous and constant in-and-out of their human sisters. 

By the time the day came to a close, I had burned approximately 4,291 calories (but had taken in 6,295). I had popped out 24,098 new grey hairs and I had Googled recipes that included Fruit Loops, cream of celery soup and pita bread because that was all we had left in the house to eat. 

Once winter melted into spring and spring into summer, I took the time to gather crafting supplies. Lots and lots of crafting supplies. I bought crayons, markers and colored pencils. I got sketchbooks, coloring books and tracing paper. I picked up some pipe cleaners, yarn, fuzzy balls, googly eyes, and patterned duct tape. I purchased craft glue, all-purpose glue, glitter glue, rubber cement and a cool hot glue gun—cool as in temperature and as in nifty. I procured craft idea books, rubber band looms and knitting needles. I was ready for the worst snowstorm Mother Nature could throw at us.

Then one Saturday night when my husband and I were relaxing in the living room watching a newsy-type show (read: sleeping in front of the television), the girls got really quiet. Soon (after I woke up), I discovered they’d found my snow-day stash. And used it. All.

Oh well, we still have Frozen. I’ll just have to learn to let it go.

Heather Davis is a momma, a writer and has mixed emotions about snow days. She and her family live in Oklahoma, where she blogs about her antics at www.minivan-momma.com.

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