"Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.” ~Glennon Melton
Every once in a while I read a parenting article that really grabs my attention. These days, that is a tremendous feat since it seems my brain is usually on overload these days. The article was published in the Huffington Post and was entitled “Don’t Carpe Diem.” [Read it here.]
The author of this article had an interesting perspective on conversations we all have had regarding enjoying every moment of parenthood because it goes by so quickly. She said that not every moment needs to be happy, which is something I struggle with myself. When my daughter is in trouble for something and we don’t have a stellar evening, I often go to bed thinking that I have just ruined a fun night because I had to teach her something important instead of having fun with her.
Then my mind immediately goes to her graduating from high school and moving off to college. Is this healthy to be worried about things like this? Probably not, especially when I know that it is my job to discipline her when she does things wrong. Fortunately, I am not alone in this way of thinking. I have talked to several moms and dads about this very subject at great length, and have discovered this is normal. Just like the article says, parents are constantly reminded of how fast our children grow up, and just when we forget that for a few minutes, someone reminds us again. This definitely does not help parents relax, especially when I hear from seasoned moms and dads that guilt is a natural part of the journey.
It was so nice to read in the article that it is okay to not enjoy every moment of parenting. I have learned the hard way, of course, that in some social circles, I do not dare bring up a bad day with my daughter because I will be shot at sundown for not enjoying every second as a mother. The truth is, not every moment is enjoyable. Just as the author wrote, you don’t criticize people for not enjoying their job every second, so why are parents criticized for not enjoying every moment of parenting? I feel there should be a healthy balance of enjoying the good and the bad, but giving yourself a break now and then when it is really bad. What is so wrong about being honest about our feelings anyway?
The best part of the article was about the Kairos time. To quote the article, “Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still.”
I couldn’t agree more with the author that Kairos time “makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.” I soak in those Kairos moments as much as possible: when my daughter snuggles up with me and says she loves me; how cute she looks when she is sleeping and snoring; her sweet little voice when she is singing. Those are the moments that make me forget, even just for a little while, the difficult journey that is parenthood.