My ex-husband and I recently had a huge conversation about our daughter. It was the kind of heart-to-heart that can either make or break two people being civil to each other in the interest of their child. It was honestly one of the most difficult phone calls I’ve ever had to make. However, he was absolutely supportive, which made me instantly feel better about the entire situation. Later that day, I started thinking about how far we’ve both come in the past year, and how we’ve both adjusted to our roles of being single parents. I am the first to say that he is a wonderful father. There are not many people I trust in this world to be around her, but I trust him unequivocally. It is also very important to me that their relationship is always strong.
My commitment to their solid relationship is this. As a daddy’s girl myself, I understand the importance of the father/daughter relationship, and how it shapes future relationships with men (that we will address when she is 30 and can start dating!) Do her father and I have to get along to make this all work? Absolutely not. But, I am sure it helps our daughter feel secure when she sees us together and conversing like normal people, rather than enemies. I have seen too many ex-couples embarrassing their children by causing scenes at weddings, graduations, etc., and I never want that to happen to her.
I am definitely not saying I am the poster child for ex-wife communication skills. I have made so many mistakes along the way of this single parent journey. However, I will continue to always make sure our daughter’s needs are all met and she has a happy childhood, despite not growing up with both parents under the same roof. I believe that all parents need to find their own way of making things work the best way for them. Unfortunately, there is no rule book issued to us when we become parents, and especially when co-parenting with an ex.
I’m sure there will be days that I won’t feel like being a great ex-wife. But, I remain steadfast to keep working with her father in our own way we have figured out over the past year and hopefully someday she will be proud of her mom and dad of how we handled our situation the very best we could.
Do you have any tips for fellow parents to help them work with their ex better?