Many people feel bogged down by their daily lives, unable to find enough hours in the day to get everything done. Juggling duties at work and spending time with family is a common problem.

One Edmond dad, Ashley Benjamin, appears to have created a new day, one which seems to have more hours than that of the average man.

A typical day in the life of Ashley Benjamin begins with breakfast with his wife, Mahshid, and their kids. After breakfast he takes his five-year-old daughter Melayna to preschool and drives across town to deliver his seven-year-old son Armand to his school. Benjamin then heads south to his VA Medical Center psychiatry practice where he helps returning Afghani and Iraqi veterans and works in a day treatment program. He also serves as an assistant professor at OU Health Sciences as assistant residency training director.

To most of us, that sounds like a pretty full day. But Benjamin has just begun. He picks his kids up from school and spends the evening with them. Together, they do homework and play outside with other neighborhood kids. His neighbors can attest—they play outside until sundown nearly every day.

There is more. In his “spare time,” Benjamin trains and coaches Olympic hopeful Mark Thompson, a 29-year-old Edmond-grown distance runner. Thompson is training for the 1500 meter Olympic trials. Benjamin trains Thompson not as a job, but as a hobby.

Thompson recalled the day he met Benjamin nearly two years ago. “He just kind of showed up out of the blue and introduced himself. It was kind of odd that he was asking to coach me. I really didn’t know what to think of it. I was definitely tentative at first because I was used to doing things my own way, but he convinced me that he wouldn’t change too many things, and it’s worked out really well for the last two years.”

Benjamin’s introduction to Thompson may have been out of the blue, but his interest in running is anything but. He spends his free time reading and researching distance running and human performance. He obtained a master’s degree in exercise physiology from Ohio State University, then moved to the University of Kansas where he was the graduate assistant track coach. Eventually he changed courses and went to medical school.

“I always had an interest for the science of running,” Benjamin said. “I was always interested in performance. What does it take to get someone to their max? My time with Mark is something that has been very enjoyable. I don’t get paid for it. It’s fun.”

Thompson doesn’t take Benjamin’s devotion and expertise for granted. “He does it as his own passion,” Thompson said. “Not only do I not have to pay for a coach, but I have one who’s looking out for me a little bit. He is almost like my life coach. At some point in his career, he had some mentors or people who were in the position to do that sort of thing for him. He feels like he is passing it on. He’s just a genuinely good-hearted and good-natured person. Honestly, I don’t think I would still be running if he wasn’t my coach.”

Like a true Renaissance man, Benjamin co-authored a book which will be available in the fall. The book is written for high school athletes who are being recruited by colleges and will offer advice to help them choose the best program.

Benjamin says the biggest key to pulling off his juggling routine is his supportive spouse, Mahshid, who is finishing her cancer fellowship at the University of Oklahoma. Benjamin relies on her for support in all areas of his life. “My wife really makes it possible for me to fulfill my personal goals,” Benjamin said. “I couldn’t do it without her support.”

Despite the time and energy Benjamin spends studying, writing, and training with Thompson, he maintains that his number one focus is his kids. On any given evening, Benjamin can be seen riding bikes, playing kickball, and enjoying the evening sunset with his kids and their neighborhood friends.

“My son has a lot of energy,” Benjamin said. “I describe him as someone who doesn’t like to miss a minute of life. He is always on the go. He does things very intensely. My daughter is just the opposite—she wants to smell the roses.”

Having two kids with such separate agendas can be challenging. “I think having that balance and having that difference just makes it [being a dad] unique,” Benjamin said. “It’s also going to be challenging because from a parenting aspect you have to adapt what you are doing. Sometimes they have two very different goals.”

Benjamin believes that his presence in his kids’ lives is instrumental in their development. He wants to make sure his kids are his main priority, and that may limit the amount of time he works. “Raising them is our number one goal and it’s one of the reasons we waited a while before we had them,” Benjamin said. “We wanted to make sure we were in a position where we could spend time with them. I want to be there and I want to do things with the kids. It is a struggle sometimes, but by choice I limit my hours. We are in a position where we can do that, and we are grateful for it.”

He sees his time with his kids as a chance to teach them about the world. “I take a coaching approach and that involves looking at what qualities I can help them achieve so they become responsible, mature, and socially-contributing adults,” Benjamin said. “I want kids who can think for themselves—that’s a learning process that takes time. Our goal is to help them get down the right path, but they are going to make a lot of choices regarding jobs or who they meet or where they live. Part of that coaching perspective is to say, ‘Whatever choices they make, our goal is to maximize their ability in that choice.’”

Even with all Benjamin does for his kids, he says they do more for him. “They are always teaching me patience,” Benjamin said. “My daughter reminds me daily to literally smell the roses and just slow down. Don’t be so focused on getting stuff done. My son is just the opposite. He teaches and emphasizes the point that life is short and I want to know this, and I want to know that. There is a lot out there to learn. Don’t let time pass away just to pass away.”

 

Travis Tindell is a graduate of Oklahoma Christian School in Edmond. He is currently a student at Oklahoma State University where he majors in Sports Media Public Relations.