Think for a moment about your high school days. For many of us, the most difficult decisions were what to wear, whether to do homework or talk on the phone, and which poster to hang on the wall.
 
But for some teens, life is not so simple. For these kids, childhood is only a distant memory. Every day they cope with the responsibilities of being an adult.
 
“We want to lighten the burden on them,” said Cormie’Re Bishop, coordinator of the SKIL program at Youth Services for Oklahoma County. SKIL, which stands for Supporting Kids in Independent Living, served about 60 Metro-area teens last year.
 
The students come to the program in various ways—they may be referred from school counselors, a coach or teacher may bring them to Youth Services, or the kids might have heard about the program from other students. The stories that brought the teens to the program are as unique as the students themselves. Some have backgrounds that include physical or sexual abuse, neglect, or parental addiction.
 
“Sometimes, Mom gets a new boyfriend and he doesn’t like the child, so the child is kicked out of the home,” said Debbie Foshee, Youth Services director. “It happens more often than you would think.”
Whatever the situation, through no fault of their own, these students can no longer live at home. Typically, the students are high school juniors or seniors and rather than enter the foster care system where they would likely be moved to another school, they choose to make it on their own.
 
But not everyone is accepted into the SKIL program. “They have to have a gut level desire to complete their high school diploma,” Youth Services director Foshee said.
 
SKIL coordinator Bishop regularly checks grades and attendance records to make sure the participants are holding up their end of the deal. SKIL students are also required to work part-time. “We don’t want them working 40 hours; they have to have time for school,” Bishop said. And participants can’t use drugs, be involved in a gang, or face court charges.
 
Bishop helps the kids find resources for affordable housing and SKIL provides direct support for clothing, food, and school supplies. The program also pays for things like ACT exams, prom tickets, and car repairs. Bridging budget gaps makes it possible for these students to stay in school and graduate, which has long-term implications for each student and society as a whole.
 
“We help them get into college and that increases their ability to have a living wage,” Foshee said. “They become taxpaying citizens who can take care of themselves.” The monetary investment made to keep them in school is miniscule compared to the cost of incarceration—a likely destination for those who drop out of school.
Foshee said it is the students who deserve the credit for success. “They save themselves. We just give them the resources to make it happen,” she said.
 
Those resources aren’t limited to just tangible items; it also includes emotional support. Foshee said of Bishop, “She’s really a mother for all these kids. She counsels them, helps them. She’s a better parent then most of them have ever had.” Bishop’s office is piled high with socks and underwear, tubes of toothpaste, and bottles of shampoo. She makes sure the students have the daily necessities they need.
 
“We do what we can to make their school experience as normal as the other kids they are graduating with,” Foshee said. Many of the students will be the first generation of their families to graduate high school.
“We are allowing these kids to do what they want to do—get a diploma—and we are infusing them with a dream of college,” Foshee said. This fall that dream came true for more than 20 of the SKIL graduates who started university classes.
 
One of those students was Johnny Carbenas who graduated from Capitol Hill High School in May. He entered the SKIL program in January 2007, determined to get his diploma. “They gave me an affordable place to live,” Carbenas said. He had been sharing a small apartment with eight other young men. He would often come home from work to find his roommates had eaten the groceries he’d bought and it was hard to find a quiet place to do his homework.
 
Carbenas was able to move into one of two transitional living apartments belonging to Youth Services. The units are tiny—dorm-room size—but are fully furnished and have a private bathroom. The students pay moderate rent and don’t have to worry about their belongings being taken or being thrown out on a whim.
 
Such stability allowed Carbenas to flourish. He got a job at Sears, took concurrent classes at Oklahoma City Community College, and got his diploma. “Living there, I didn’t have to work as many hours, and I had time to apply for scholarships,” Carbenas said. He now attends the University of Oklahoma—on full scholarship—where he is majoring in computer science and computer engineering.
 
When asked if he would’ve been able to do those things without the SKIL program, he answered, “I definitely would’ve graduated,” he said. “But I wouldn’t be going to college this fall.” As he answered, tears welled up in Bishop’s eyes.
 
“Some of these kids are burned into our hearts,” Foshee said.
 
No doubt Foshee and Bishop’s support will stay with Carbenas for the rest of his life. “I remember something Ms. Bishop told me,” Carbenas said, “We’re always under pressure and either we put up with the pressure and become diamonds, or we give up.” Carbenas is determined never to give up.
 
How You Can Help
Youth Services estimates it will have as many as 100 students in the SKIL program this year. Youth Services is a 501 C-3 non-profit organization and a United Way agency. Those interested in supporting the program may send donations to 201 NE 50th Street, Oklahoma City, OK  73105. For more information, visit www.ysoc.org.
 
Gayleen Rabakukk is a freelance writer who spends her time in Oklahoma City keeping up with her teenage and preschool daughters. She holds a BA in journalism from the University of Central Oklahoma and is a regular contributor to MetroFamily Magazine.