Have you or your child been haunted with horror stories of kids being crammed into lockers, offered drugs, or mistreated by teachers who no longer think kids are cute? You must be getting ready for middle school. Are such stories urban legend or reality? Let’s tackle some of the common myths and worst fears of students and parents.

Fact or Fiction?
1. Middle School kids are expected to be organized. Myth busted: Middle school teachers hold students accountable for turning in assignments. This is a surprise to some kids, no big deal to others. It is common for teachers to deduct points for late or missing work. The goal is to help develop organizational skills in students, so support the teacher by allowing this system to change your student’s behavior. Pay close attention to agendas and other materials that will assist in the process. (By the way, the only thing crammed into most lockers is the leftover lunch you made them the first week of school! Do encourage them to make time for periodic clean sweeps.)

2. All middle school teachers are mean. Myth busted: Middle school teachers typically posses a creative combination of humor and limit setting. Many tend to be strict at first so they can establish order and control within the classroom. Later, they are free to be more fun loving. A great number are known to have entertaining quirks like unusual collections, silly traditions, or pet peeves. This is often part of the “shtick” because they understand the need to hook kids into participating. After all, early adolescence is a distracting time. If the teacher is still strict by mid year, then you have a different learning opportunity. Help him by giving them strategies to appropriately deal with difficult people. He’ll learn the valuable life lesson that they can cope with stress and be stronger because of it.

3. Middle school kids are moody. Well, not all the time. In truth, there are a lot of changes going on inside and outside of the middle school student. Be open to helping your tween manage difficult moods with encouragement, reassurance, and respectful advice. Everybody has a bummer day once in a while, but if your offspring starts sulking most of the time, something is likely bothering him or her. Ask questions, spend more time together, and help your child voice worries and grievances.

4. Middle school is full of drug activity. Myth busted: Drug activity is related not to the school, but to the age. National studies indicate that by age eleven your child knows someone who has experimented with alcohol; by age twelve they know someone who has tried cigarettes or pot. Prepare your self and your child by being very clear about making good choices, always be informed about where your child is and with whom they are spending time, and stay connected with regular, individual time throughout the week. Don’t scare your student into good behavior. Instead, use solid information and frequent dialogue to combat the more difficult choices they face.

Make the most of this developmental shift by supporting your child as he learns from successes and mishaps that are par for the middle school course. Set aside daily study time (whether he has homework or not) to build his academic identity. Stay interested, but not intrusive, as they continue to need your encouragement. After the first year of middle school, you and your child will be terrific mentors to the next family facing the challenge of leaving elementary school. Help them bust the middle school myths.

Dr. Lisa Marotta is a Clinical/School Psychologist in private practice within the Offices of Paul Tobin, Ph.D. and Ann Benjamin, M.Ed. in Edmond. She frequently travels to the elementary schools to address goal setting with 5th graders, and conducts an educational group for kids entering middle school. Lisa and her husband Sal are the proud parents of two teenage daughters. You may contact her at 340-4321.