by Sherry Siler
The holidays can be a challenging time for families with teenagers. Teens can get lost in their own activities and schedules, unless parents get creative about including them in holiday traditions.

Getting the Christmas tree up and the house decorated seems to usher in the beginning of the Christmas season. Give your teen advance notice of the date and time that the family will get together, and then set about to have a fun evening of sharing and making memories. Put on Christmas music that is meaningful to your family. Pop some popcorn, and invite your teenagers to help get the house looking festive. Mom, beware not to make this about a “decorator look,” as this will give the wrong idea about why the family has chosen this activity.

When my children were small, they were most fascinated by the many nativities that we displayed. It was always fun to see what the new arrangement of the holy family would be. Give your teens nativities to display in their own rooms, and encourage them to decorate their bedroom doors—maybe even give prizes for the most creative design.

Talk about gift-giving, and set a limit for what teens may spend. Make lists that are reasonable and that fit the budget. Families may want to consider eliminating traditional gift giving for something a little more creative. You could exchange services—a teen who is great on the computer or video equipment might catalogue or compile the family pictures and videos. Giving coupons for car washing or detailing is another great gift. Families don’t have to break the bank to get into the spirit of giving.

Include teens in church activities. They are much more inclined to go if they can bring their friends, so tell them the more the merrier.

Set a time to take your teens and their friends to the mall. They can do their shopping with friends. Meet them at the food court, and make an evening of it.

Encourage a family project that demonstrates the real meaning of Christmas. There are always agencies within the community that are looking for sponsors for needy families or for the elderly.

One of our most memorable Christmases was just such a time when we adopted a family in our community. We shopped for the family together and on Christmas Eve, we delivered gifts and groceries. The spirit of giving was a profound and memorable experience for all of us, but most especially for our teenagers!

Remember parents, you set the tone for much of what happens in your household. Get organized, and try not to over extend yourself. Teens want to come home to a positive and calm environment.

Include your teenagers in meaningful and fun experiences during the holidays. They sometimes resist our efforts to include them, but we must be lovingly firm in our attempts to give them memorable experiences. Don’t overlook the meaning of the holidays!

In a Nutshell:

• Give your teenagers plenty of notice about the family’s night to put up the Christmas tree.
• Encourage them to decorate their rooms and bedroom doors.
• Set a limit for gift giving, and encourage creative gifts of service.
• Take your teenagers and their friends to church musicals and parties.
• Take your teenagers and their friends to the mall to Christmas shop.
• Find a family project that demonstrates the spirit of giving.
• Parents, get organized and don’t over extend.

Sherry Siler is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Edmond. She works with individuals and families, as well as with couples who are experiencing loss or challenges in the area of relationships. Sherry is married, and is the mother of two adult sons.