He's taught abstinence to hundreds of people in four different countries. His lessons are so effectual that a former student invited him back to Barbados to teach a second generation of teens the necessity of sexual purity. Mike Jestes is passionate about his beliefs. But what really sets him apart is his ability to teach lessons that stick. And Mike recognizes a rip-off when he sees one.
As Executive Director of the Oklahoma Family Policy Council, Jestes oversees KEEP (Kids Eagerly Endorsing Purity), a character-based abstinence training program authorized by the U.S. Congress and the Oklahoma State Department of Health. KEEP’s goals are twofold: to convince as many teens as possible to abstain from sex until marriage; and to present sexual expression within marriage as society’s behavioral standard. Mike’s teaching style makes the KEEP sessions anything but predictable.
Sticky Symbolism
“What’s this for?” Mike asks a group of teens as he holds up a roll of clear strapping tape.
The teens respond, “It’s sticky. It holds things together.”
“Do I have a volunteer to demonstrate how the tape works?” asks Mike.
Dave steps forward. Mike applies the tape to the boy’s arm, then rips the tape off.
“Owww,” hollers Dave, rubbing his sore arm while the rest of the group laughs.
“How does the tape look now?” asks Mike. “Is it still transparent?”
“No,” the audience responds, “It’s got hair all over it!”
“That’s right. And Dave’s arm is also changed. It bears the imprint of the tape.”
With that simple demonstration, Mike Jestes effectively illustrates three truths:
* The ripped-off tape is like a relationship that has gone bad. Such relationships leave an indelible mark and inflict pain on both parties.
* The ripped-off tape is weakened. It’s “stick-to-itiveness” is compromised.
* The untouched, transparent tape is strong. When joined in kind, it’s virtually inseparable.
Spreading the Message Is Easier than You Might Think
Although Mike and his staff regularly present the multi-week KEEP program to students in public and private schools, youth groups, and churches, there is an ongoing need for more volunteer presenters. Thus, the inception of KEEP’s biannual sexual abstinence training seminar (see sidebar). According to Eric Chaffin, KEEP Coordinator, “Our training will not only inspire; it will also give our volunteers the most up-to-date training and techniques.” Who should attend the training? Anyone who cares enough to share the message of sexual abstinence with a teen or teens.
As in all sticky issues, talking about abstinence may seem awkward. But Mike Jestes is quick to reassure. “At our training sessions, we do everything but talk about sex.” For those who work with teens but lack support to address such critical issues, Jestes goes on to say, “Even faith-based groups find that the principled approach used by the KEEP program supports the message of sexual purity before marriage and clearly works within the positive values supported by people of faith.”
Shocking Statistics
For those still wary of the subject of abstinence, a reality check is in order. According to the latest sexually transmitted diseases (STD) statistics from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), Oklahoma placed fifteenth in the nation in reported cases of gonorrhea in 2004. In the same year, the CDC also charted reported cases of chlamydia in major metropolitan areas—Oklahoma City ranked 24th out of 63 cities. But the most compelling statistic of all is found in the January/February 2004 issue of Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health: individuals between the ages of 15-24, while representing 25% of the sexually active population, acquire nearly one-half of all new STDs.
The reasons for promoting abstinence are clear. But how effective is such teaching? To answer that question, regress to the year 1991 when 15% of the population of the African country of Uganda was HIV positive. Then fast forward to 2001 when that number dropped to 5%. What happened during the interim decade? According to a USAID study, millions of Ugandans made two life-changing decisions: they chose sexual abstinence outside of marriage and fidelity within marriage.
Does Uganda’s abstinence education program set the standard for programs like KEEP? “Yes,” replies Mike Jestes. “KEEP doesn’t promote the popular fallacy of ‘safe sex,’ i.e., the use of condoms or contraceptives. Instead, we challenge kids to remain abstinent until marriage.” After all, any other type of abstinence teaching would be a rip-off.
Lori Williams is a freelance writer who specializes in writing about international adoption and the special needs child. Lori resides in Bethany with her husband Dean and daughter Aurelia.