May 18, 201205:10 PMFinding Mom Balance
Building a Stronger Blended Family
I would love to tell you that when my new husband and I moved in together with my oldest daughter that everything was from a storybook, and everyone lived together happily ever after. I’m sure if I wrote that, most of you who have been in my shoes would more than likely call my bluff anyway!
I am very lucky that my new husband truly loves my daughter. It was instant. They have their own little dialogue and games that are only for them. My daughter has always had a hard time connecting with men since she was born, so him instantly bonding with her made me very happy. The major obstacle we had to overcome was me letting go of always being the one “in charge”. I have always been the one juggling all the balls up in the air since my daughter was born, and wasn’t used to someone actually wanting to help me make family decisions. Once I relinquished my annoying habit of being a control freak, things went a lot better in our household!
It has also been quite a whirlwind for us over the past year. We got married in June, and had a baby girl in October, so there have been a lot of changes that have occurred in our family. Thankfully, my five-year-old was well-prepared for being a big sister and has handled adding another female to our family very well. My husband and I researched every parenting website we could find that discussed preparing a child for a little brother or sister. One of the best things we read and applied, which turned out to be very successful, was to appoint my older daughter to be a co-mommy.
Being a co-mommy means she is right there with us, helping and being part of everything to do with the baby. It made her feel so important and helped alleviate jealousy. We bought her a diaper bag that was smaller than mine but held some of the same items, which she would carry proudly, and she loves getting us diapers when needed. We also always pointed out when her baby sister was enamored with her, which helped her connect with her emotionally. Of course, there are times when we notice her face looking a little forlorn, but we try our best to make both daughters happy as much as we can.
For those of you who have blended families, how did you handle it to make it easier on the kids? What would you do differently if you could have a do-over?